Meteorite contains the oldest material on Earth: 7-billion-year-old stardust

Slightly older than house dust.

The brains of shrimps and insects are more alike than we thought

Calling someone a shrimp is more like calling them a giant.

NASA missions help reveal the power of shock waves in a nova explosion

In a shocking discovery.

Experiments show that using a cell phone while driving increases the likelihood of an accident by four times.

That increases to 8 times as likely if the phone is being used to play a driving game.

Feel good’ brain messenger can be willfully controlled, new study reveals

Dope. I mean...

Earth-size, habitable-zone planet found hidden in early NASA Kepler data

Goldilocks evades the NASA bear again.

Astronomers discover first cloudless, Jupiter-like planet

It was a gas.

Social support from a loved one helps to reduce stress.

Though staying home for the holidays in an election year does the exact opposite.

2020 tied for warmest year on record, NASA analysis shows

To climate denialists what sadly must sound like a broken record.

One-time treatment generates new neurons, eliminates Parkinson’s disease in mice

Parkinfather's ease

Volcanic carbon dioxide emissions helped trigger Triassic climate change

VolcaNo!

An experiment tested to see when/if participants would stop eating if their bowls of soup were “bottomless.”

AKA as the Olive Garden Experiment.

Scorpion toxin that targets ‘wasabi receptor’ may help solve mystery of chronic pain

Or mystery of dank sushi.

Wandering Supermassive Black Holes May Be More Abundant than Previously Thought

A cosmic gorilla on the basketball court.

Optic nerve stimulation to aid the blind

V won.

Testosterone increases touch sensitivity in the penis.

Unfortunately it doesn't increase sensitivity in regards to women's feelings.

Link between obesity and sleep loss

Chiseled by the Zzzz's. Hey snoring is an intense activity.

How to make the healthiest coffee

Dump saturated fat from butter in it.

Anxiety makes it genuinely harder to hold conversations and concentrate.

Just ask any guy trying to talk to a pretty girl in a bar.

Engineers put tens of thousands of artificial brain synapses on a single chip

The dorito became self aware just one crunch too late.