Ancient star explosions revealed in deep-sea sediments

Man, that's deep.

Can fruit fly research help improve survival of cancer patients?

Only if they land on something fruitful.

People’s tendency toward anxiety remains fairly consistent over time.

Fortunately the bronze age didn't have standardized testing.

A billion years missing from geologic record: Where it may have gone

Rocks cooked the books.

In death of dinosaurs, it was all about the asteroid — not volcanoes

Speaking of a dinosaur: anyone remember the game Asteroids?

Space scientists reveal secret behind Jupiter’s ‘energy crisis’

Blame the gas giant company.

Language, is the systematic, meaningful arrangement of symbols, provides the basis for communication.

And allowed us to unlock the true gift of the "Yo momma so fat" joke.

Milky Way could be catapulting stars into its outer halo

A star moat around the Milky Way fortress.

New light shed on intelligent life existing across the galaxy

Bright.

Our ability to focus may falter after eating one meal high in saturated fat

On anything besides deliciousness.

Alcohol is the most commonly known depressant.

Followed closely by politics.

Children told lies by parents subsequently lie more as adults, face adjustment difficulty

Morality by Santa Claus is a Catch-22.

Perceptions of supernatural beings reveal feelings about good and bad in humans

E.g., by presents or coal.

Schools of molecular ‘fish’ could improve display screens

Or at least screensavers.

New gene correction therapy for Duchenne muscular dystrophy

May make you smile like Gene Simmons.

Short-term memory has a limited capacity, but long-term memory does not.

Also, short-term memory has a limited capacity.

The world is getting wetter, yet water may become less available for North America and Eurasia

Water water everywhere nor any drop to drink.

Cold planets exist throughout our galaxy, even in the galactic bulge, research suggests

Even the galactic bulge is a bit less when it's that cold.

Potential role of ‘junk DNA’ sequence in aging, cancer

Even old DNA starts to hoard after awhile.

At some threshold a percept passes into consciousness and there is a point of “global ignition”widely through the brain, eg. an audience after a few handclaps bursting into applause.

Please, hold your global ignition.