Potential role of ‘junk DNA’ sequence in aging, cancer
Even old DNA starts to hoard after awhile.
Where were Jupiter and Saturn born?
Popped straight out of Uranus.
The right dose of geoengineering could reduce climate change risks
The wrong dose seems to have made Earth into a giant mall.
Tomato’s hidden mutations revealed in study of 100 varieties
Like the less popular but cooler Late Girl.
Simple, fuel-efficient rocket engine could enable cheaper, lighter spacecraft
It’s just rocketscience.
CRISPRed fruit flies mimic monarch butterfly, and could make you vomit
Rancid butterfly.
What a pair! Coupled quantum dots may offer a new way to store quantum information
As may acid microdots.
Discovery at ‘flower burial’ site could unravel mystery of Neanderthal death rites
Neanderthals clubbed hippies.
Increased fertility for women with Neanderthal gene, study suggests
That explains fertility in the American south.
Field geology at Mars’ equator points to ancient megaflood
Noah vs. Moses: the proverbial Great Flood and Red Sea.
Arthropods formed orderly lines 480 million years ago
Without even credit cards to scrape them.
Ancient seashell resonates after 18,000 years
Hear that? It’s the ancient ocean.
Genetic enigma solved: Inheritance of coat color patterns in dogs
Hand me downs from top dog.
Ancient volcanoes once boosted ocean carbon, but humans are now far outpacing them
Still the EPA did issue a strong warning to ancient volcanoes.
ESO telescopes record last moments of star devoured by a black hole
Please don’t eat me… Aaaa.
Major Atlantic ocean current system might be approaching critical threshold
Soon to be “At land I.C.”
First-ever comprehensive geologic map of the moon
Other kind of moon rocks.
Experts unlock key to photosynthesis, a find that could help us meet food security demands
Turning over a new leaf.
Healthy oceans need healthy soundscapes
The ocean listens to oceansound.
Climate change may have driven the emergence of SARS-CoV-2
A heated debate.
Repeating cycle in unusual cosmic radio bursts
Oops someone forgot to turn off airplane mode.
Geneticists map the rhinoceros family tree
The rhinoceratops kept a scrap book.
In a first, scientists pinpoint neural activity’s role in human longevity
9 lives in a Cat Scan.
No need to cut down red and processed meat for health reasons, controversial findings suggest
Study approved by the French tourism industry.
Scientists reverse age-related memory loss in mice
Who moved my cheese? Oh yeah, I did.
Modern snakes evolved from a few survivors of dino-killing asteroid
That’s why snakes are so grouchy.
New Horizons team uncovers a critical piece of the planetary formation puzzle
Formative work.
Controlling light with light
Taking light lightly.
Microplastic drifting down with the snow
Look out for avalanche of titties.
Scientists find brain center that ‘profoundly’ shuts down pain
A Stoicortex.
Climate change — not Genghis Khan — caused the demise of Central Asia’s river civilizations, research shows
But Genghis did then have enough offpring to take some credit for climate change.
Climate change may cut soil’s ability to absorb water
No more soiling itself.
Environmental toxins impair immune system over multiple generations
Welcome to the family.
Quantum Device: Ultrafast Electron Microscopy Leads to Pivotal Discovery
If we could just find that electron, before the card castle collapses.
Storms on Jupiter are disturbing the planet’s colorful belts
Karate closed on Jupiter due to storms.
AI Programming: OpenAI’s Codex Translates Everyday Language Into Computer Code
FOR score (= 20) & 7 years a GOTO
Why do we freeze when startled? New study in flies points to serotonin
Remember serotonin tag?
Daily exposure to blue light may accelerate aging, even if it doesn’t reach your eyes
Blue man group must put 10 years on by touring.
Humans have salamander-like ability to regrow cartilage in joints
But salamanders still can’t roll them.
July 2019 was hottest month on record for the planet
Solstice plus a fever.
Geologists dig into Grand Canyon’s mysterious gap in time
Mind the gap. in time
Got fatigue? Study further pinpoints brain regions that may control it
Catch-22 is you have to address it to read about it.
Ancient shell shows days were half-hour shorter 70 million years ago
And with no lunch break.
Extremely young galaxy is Milky Way look-alike
Doppler ganger
Novel imaging method reveals a surprising arrangement of DNA in the cell’s nucleus
You can tune a Peano curve but you can’t tuna fish.
Global Disaster Coming? Earth’s ‘Vital Signs’ are Worsening Rapidly as Humanity’s Impact Deepens
Palms are sweaty Gaia’s spaghetti.
New data on the evolution of plants and origin of species
Treevolution.
Heat energy leaps through empty space, thanks to quantum weirdness
Heat wave.
Scientists shuffle atomic layers like playing cards to make new quantum materials
Sketchy quantum shuffle just shuffle regular.
Diluting blood plasma rejuvenates tissue, reverses aging in mice
Bloody hellth.
Brain refreshing: Why the dreaming phase matters
Refresh to see your latest post.
First dinosaur eggs were soft like a turtle’s
Chicken or egg? Dinosaur.
Heat shield just 10 atoms thick to protect electronic devices
In the future this’ll be too bulky.
‘Mercury may paradoxically use intense heat to make huge amounts of ice’
Very dry ice.
Presynaptic terminals are at the ends of an axon, releasing chemicals.
Just think of the axon as a schoolbus and the presynaptic terminal as the dude in back who sold you weed.
Electrical messages transmitted down a neuron’s axon are regenerated & not weakened.
It’s the brain’s way of retweeting a trending topic like “watch out for that bus.”
The relative refractory period: the second part, in which it takes a stronger than usual stimulus to trigger an action potential.
In other words the woman works harder.
15 minutes of Green Space reduced anxiety, hostility, fatigue, confusion, and depression symptoms, when compared to walking among skyscrapers.
Yet didn’t reduce car insurance.
‘Ostrich Robot Machine-Learns Itself To Run a 5K’
Unlike a regular ostrich it left its head in the sand and learned to fly.
‘About Half of Sun-Like Stars Could Host Rocky, Habitable-Zone Planets’
With those odds there may be an alien writing a joke about this now.
Adults Who Experienced More Positive Emotions Had Less Memory Decline Over The Next Decade.
Those who didn’t probably don’t care much to remember it anyway.
Drinking alcohol blocks the release of norepinephrine, a chemical that promotes attention, when we want to focus.
This may contribute to why drinkers have difficulty paying attention while under the influence. Gabba vs. norepinephrine is like… huh?
‘11.2 Billion Year Old Sun-Like Star Hosts 5 Earth-Like Planets’
The gracious host set a warm atmosphere besides being literally the life of that party.
A two-week course of high doses of Cannabidiol (CBD) reduces beta-amyloid plaque, a hallmark of Alzheimer’s disease, and improves cognition.
The high-dose course is graded pass or bogart.
‘NASA: Juno data indicates ‘sprites’ or ‘elves’ frolic in Jupiter’s atmosphere’
The elves snapped a pic with the gas giant.
‘Tiny liquid battery cools chips while powering them’
The energizer bunny wet its pants and they said “Great, go with that.”
‘Purported phosphine on Venus more likely to be ordinary sulfur dioxide, new study suggests’
The discovery initially stank of eggs.
‘Mushroom growing out of fossilized ant reveals new genus of fungal parasite,�Allocordyceps
The ant also did call off work tripping balls.
Florida court says iPhone passcode must be revealed
The defendent gave only a thumbs up.
Colossal Wave Rolls Through North Atlantic, Shattering Previous Record
The new head of the EPA explained that it was caused only by nature, so luckily that won’t be around much longer.
‘Scientists develop glasses for X-ray lasers’
Sunglass developers really found their niche on this one.
Deer crashes through gym window for extreme cardio
Doh!
Man wakes up singing after heart stops 40 times during surgery
The diagnosis: “sir, you have been listening to too much drum and bass.”
‘Viral Diseases Spread Faster During Times of Economic Boom’
So trickle down is true.
‘Scientific First: Quantum microscope offers MRI for Molecules’
Stay still buddy.
Woman quits her full-time job and survives more than two years without spending a CENT
She exploited CentiFrugal force.
Australian Dude Stopped By Police For Using Rolled-Up Mattress As Driver’s Seat
The seat was beneath him so they must have been tipped off by the shifter lamp and dashboard nightstand.
‘Discovery shows human cells can write RNA sequences to DNA.’
RNA’s the secretary that does it all and wants a promotion.
Dentally challenged great white shark greets divers
Ate too many Life Savers
Watching too much TV can shrink your BRAIN, study finds
Just gay matter. E.g., Any happiness containing regions.
Frog Forced to Marry Indian Rain God
I dew.
Chicago The Only Major U.S. City to Lose Population From 2015 to 2016
The “Illest Noise” was in fact lethal.
Step into the Adrenaline-Filled World of Competitive Swinging
Where synchronized menstrual cycles create reality show conflict.
‘Asteroid Scars Tell Stories of the Past’
Oh man, this one time I was totally just floating along there like I always do without adjusting my course at all because I can’t do that and then BAM… Paul hit me again this year.
“Star in a jar” could lead to limitless fusion energy.
Or at least to the name of any garden-variety sex tape.
Officers stop deer on California bridge for ‘toll evasion’
Ah so deer are why the ‘Fast rack’ lane in CA has no second ‘t.’
The five fonts you should never use on your CV
Century Unemployed
New study suggests high fat diet may actually be healthy.
High fat diets do lower body temperature, but high phat diets won’t make you cooler.
Scientists discover new organ in the throat.
Not what you discovered with your ex.
‘Machine Learning Algorithms Deciphers Bat Talk’
My bad.
’67 Startups to Make Your Home Smarter’
My home started flipping houses in the neighborhood to millenials to increase it’s smart network.
Gecko survives 4,000 mile journey hidden in woman’s bra
Geckos stick to silicone.
Hasidic’ hitman: NYC shooting victim had $10K in pocket
Collecting a bounty on oneself is just a tad shortsighted.
Rudy Giuliani goes on unhinged rant during 9/11 memorial dinner
The rant was so unhinged his medicine cabinet door hit the floor spilling its contents all up in his face.
Millennials and Generation Z are more sustainability-orientated�even when it comes to money, researchers find.
Money does grow on trees.
‘Unique exoplanet photobombs CHEOPS study of nearby star system’
Meteor shower would have been a flash mob.
Germany Wants To Criminalize Fake News
As fake news is never right, albeit consistently biased in that direction.
‘Detect. Lock on. Intercept. The remarkable hunting ability of the robber fly’
Man some flies land, take a dump and your loose change.
Costco Is Now Selling a Popular Korean Beauty Product
Snail extract works just as fast as standard snail but it’s way more powerful.
‘Two radio signals, one chip, open a new world for wireless communication’
Looks like clickbait to robot pornography. But thanks science.
‘In 2022 two stars will merge and explode into a red fury’
Luckily we’re not in the cold war anymore or this may cause alarm.
2,000 Gators Aren’t Going Anywhere: Park Promises Amid Hurricane Preps
Please send gator aid.
It now costs less to subsidise wind energy than it does nuclear
In other news land just got even more expensive in Chicago.
Burger King Removes 120 Artificial Ingredients from Menu
Just from the menu – it sure kept them in the food.
Man, 78, who ‘only went out for a beer’ ends up lost in Thai jungle for four days
He really wanted a Cambodian beer.
Florida mom arrested for allegedly helping son beat up other kid
Helicopter bullying
Ubiquitous but overlooked, Fluid is a source of muscle tension.
I.e. In some positions, ejaculate.
‘Fascinating Images of Our Galaxy Taken by the Hubble Space Telescope’
Hubble hubba.
Cuba proposed to use rum to pay back Czech debt
No booze cleared the Czech-point.
Scientists have a new tool to investigate ‘bad trips’ on psychedelic drugs
And that tool, is psychedelic drugs.
Where You Live Determines What Kills You
So please color-code the next couple notches on your bible belt to orange chicken and McRib red.
‘A Laser Breakthrough -�The first commercially scalable integrated laser and microcomb on a single chip’
Good thing it’s scalable or they might get a tiny, flashy chip on their shoulder.
Legalizing weed leads to increased sales of ice cream, cookies and chips, according to a first-of-its-kind study establishing a causal relationship between legal cannabis and junk food consumption.
Groundbreaking. But more than you gets baked.
TSA to tighten screening of electronics at select airports
Sir, don’t think I can’t see you hiding that pacemaker.
‘Earth’s Mantle 60 Degrees Hotter Than Thought, Study Suggests’
Global warming gets more literal.
All clear given at Newark airport terminal after suspicious package found
Except for the sinuses of the flight attendant who filed that report.
‘Oceans Haven’t Been This Hot in Thousands of Years’
Finally Gaia heats a bath; this planet is named for its dirt.
Movies and television often show romance sparking when two strangers meet. Real-life couples, however, are 2/3 more likely to begin as friends.
Friendships have benefits beyond benefits.
The Reason Scientists Say You Shouldn’t Make Your Bed
In order to disprove the big bang.
Former health minister Terry Lake takes medical marijuana job
The health professional was mentored for the medical job by the Doctor Dre.
Justice Amy Coney Barrett says Supreme Court is ‘not a bunch of partisan hacks’
That’s the insuperior court.
‘Star discovered whipping around a black hole twice an hour’
Even space passes by her house on a bicycle.
‘Has Earth’s oxygen rusted the Moon for billions of years?’
Even the moon tells us to breathe deep.
Hard physical work significantly increases the risk of dementia.
Exercise decreases dementia. It’ll work out.
Stupid reasons to get a tattoo:
‘To do: get a tatoo.’
M4: Two lanes closed near Chepstow by cow on road
Wow two whole lanes and it’s not even an American cow.
First ‘Spider-Man’ comic sells for historic $3.6M at auction
The 3.6M was historic because it too told a story about slimy US presidents.
A New Company With a Wild Mission: Bring Back the Woolly Mammoth
But once they pull it off the mission will be extinct.
‘A new cosmic survey offers unprecedented view of galaxies’
Do watch out, a view that good offered after a survey rings of galactic timeshare.
900 Rooms Evacuated Amid Power Outage in Vegas
Come on snake eyes. At least then we could see in the dark.
Birth Order Affects Intelligence
Said a twin scientist
The Womens March Reached all the Way to Antarctica
Those tuxedos support the patriarchy.
Grandma Realizes She’s Been Praying To A ‘Lord of the Rings’ Figure For A Decade
Jesus surely recognizes it as a Tolkien gesture.
‘We cannot cheat aging and death, study indicates’
But use protection and we can cheat birth and overpopulation.
Cat’s tongue under an electron microscope.
Cat got your fractal tongue?
Math Says This Is the Perfect Age to Get Married
A marri-age
A Republican, a Democrat, and an Independent get stoned
And became one wild party.
Kidney Stones Fly Out Of People On Roller Coasters, Surgeon Discovers
Some don’t merely get stoned on roller coasters; they get kidney stoned.
‘African great apes to suffer massive range loss in next 30 years’
But at least it’s getting much easier for the apes to mark their territory.
‘Scientists have just detected a major change to the Earth’s oceans linked to a warming climate’
But at least surfers are happy.
Beaked whales can hold their breath for over 3 hours (and possibly longer)
The difference is Baked whales first inhale.
Boy, 15, is locked up for at least 14 years for deadly knife attack
They won’t have to teach him how to shank.
‘Machine Learning Algorithm Revolutionizes How Scientists Study Behavior’
At this rate there won’t be behavior left to study at all.
‘Wearable exosuit that lessens back muscle fatigue could redesign the future of work’
Back in business.
Texas city’s water deemed unsafe due to chemical leak
“Oxygen and hydrogen was comin’ out,” reported one local scientist.
Worried Trump could ‘go rogue,’ Milley took secret action to protect nuclear weapons
Fake newks.
We Now Know Why There Are Dead Galaxies Floating Lost in The Void of Space
Samsung discontinued so many.
Study: Vitamin D deficiency found in over 80% of COVID-19 patients.
At least there’s a sunny side.
Facebook is making a big push this summer to sell ads to drugmakers
They’ll be adding glazed-eyed emojis for apathetic responses to posts.
Climate Change Could be a Risk to Krill.
As long as it doesn’t keep the former establishment put in place from making that skrill.
‘New study disputes the theory of aliens living in the clouds over Venus’
As women are from Venus I’m going with a pantheon of lesbian deities.
Ontario taxpayers foot $120K bill for giant duck
If fit for a big migration this duck could really take the edge off in the South China Sea.
Scientists want to store DNA of 6.7 million species on the moon, just in case.
And people thought Noah was a nut.
Losses of soil carbon under global warming might equal U.S. emissions.
And recovering from the past U.S. cabinet, might equal EPA omissions.
‘Scientists shuffle atomic layers like playing cards to make new quantum materials’
And that very same card reappears in your pocket – with the same spin and angular momentum.
Why Some People Have Trouble Telling Left From Right
They’re not in their left mind.
Justice Dept. Sides With Baker Who Refused Gay Couple
The baker then proceeded to explain that there was no such thing as a muffin made from stud.
Dad’s ‘Rules’ For Dating His Daughters Have A Refreshing Twist
But by the time someone pulls it off they’ll be carbon dating them.
‘ESA – Solar Orbiter’s first images reveal “campfires” on the Sun’
And have a crazy story to tell.
Penguins ‘may be aliens’ after scientists discover chemical from Venus in their poo
They marched all the way to the arctic prepared to lemming their way home before realizing Earth is round.
”Lossless’ material could boost efficiency of lasers and other light-based devices’
All while paving the future of piracy.
Lingerie model marries herself to preach ‘self-love’: ‘I wasn’t ashamed’
At least if she divorces she won’t have to change her name back.
‘Zeptoseconds: A new world record in short time measurement’
A unit for the modern attention span.
‘The AI Threat Isn’t Skynet – It’s the End of the Middle Class’
Adam Smith was the first Sarah Connor.
With marijuana legal, many police dogs are now overqualified
They’re back to sniffing crack.
Bringing to life silicon.
A small handful of women just a final ‘e’ short of expressing excitement about this technology.
Iconic viking warrior was a woman, DNA test confirms
Leif Erikdaughter
The field of neuroscience needs to focus on a behavior-centric view of studying neural circuitry in order to gain a holistic understanding of the brain.
A brain in a vat’s a tad less cool.
The Latest: Judge blocks release of 3D-printed gun plans
Bang-up job
‘RAMBO speeds searches on huge DNA databases’
“Act a G,” RAMBO.
A quarter of all known bee species haven’t been seen since the 1990s.
2g and dial up was enough to piss them off. If not then the Spice Girls with Wanna-bee.
96-year-old girl scout member receives honorary degree.
One scoutleader in the roaring 20s forgot to say the race was over.
‘Higher Concentration of Metal in Moon’s Craters Provides New Insights into its Origin’
The man on the moon got dental work pre-millenium.