Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon.

Whereas fairy males just have drag on.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

That one flatlined... it lacks graph height.

Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything.

Subatomic particles that make them up are even flakier.

I intend to live forever… or die trying.

Leading cause of death... trying.

Nothing spoils the target more than a hit.

The arrows quivered in anticipation.

Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Their bite was stronger than their bark.

I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na.

Yet about potassium... K.

Why is a bra singular and panties plural?

Each contains the opposite number: Like a yinyang.

Cake: the answer, no matter the question.

How to attain ketoacidosis and insulin shock?

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

I hope the error is in thinking today I might make one.

If you were a triangle youd be acute one.

Right?

2+2=5 for extremely large values of 2.

Too much two.

I like the way your medication thinks.

Selective, inhibited, and doesn't recycle.

What do ghost pandas eat? Bam-Boo!

A ghost horse eats the haunted hay.

Turning vegan is a big missed steak.

Or a successful steak out.

You won’t drink away the alcoholism.

But here's to alcoholism.

Only an ass can be divided in half.

Not for multiplication.

I could stop gambling anytime.

Wanna bet?

Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

Diet's only die with a tea.

Broken pencils are pointless.

Yet unleaded is cheaper.